This is about a week, or maybe even more, late. Perhaps it has even been alluded to in the past, I'm not even sure anymore.
I'm at a funny point where I want to make my priorities match.
The ones inside my head and the ones that show up in my actions.
It's strange to me how disparate they seem, most of the time.
For example, I might say that being an active leader at church is important to me. But then I will decide to go out of town every weekend for three months in a row, and not actually go to church or fulfill any leadership responsibilities during that time. Yet to anyone I visit while I am out of town, I will still tell them that being a leader at my church is important to me. These two things don't quite match -- I say one thing, yet do another.
The same thing happens frequently to sweet hubby. I tell him that spending time with him is important to me, but when I have the chance to spend time with him, we both sit on our computers with the TV on and don't talk to one another. It would be much more accurate for me to say that I enjoy spending time on the computer and watching TV while he is in the room. I should turn off the computer, or simply put it away, and turn off the TV, and cuddle up with sweet hubby. That's one way that I could make my priorities match. I should make my actions match my words.
This extends to the financial area, as well, but I think I've already written plenty about that recently. My financial choices should better reflect what my professed priorities are. And I am slowly trying to put this into effect. It is a hard change to make, as it requires planning ahead and a level of commitment that I have never been able to achieve, financially (although I think I'm pretty good at almost all other types of commitment). I'm two for two in the tithing arena for 2011, which seems like a solid start and something I'm capable of maintaining. I just have to remember that even when I am out of town, I can always drop a check by the church or mail in a payment. Too bad I'm not in Germany, where a tithe is taken out of the pay check and delivered directly to the church as if it were taxes to the government. That system truly seems to support the idea of giving from the top, not from the leftovers.
This spring seems to be about refocusing for me. I've been taking a look at the different commitments I've made over the past few years (most of which are still ongoing) and have been trying to figure out which things it is time to let go of. I have 90% decided that I won't lead a Bible study group next year, or that if I do, I will request a co-leader so that I won't feel guilty for missing now and then. I would like to move back down to being an active member at just one church, instead of two, or to be able to choose a different second church that allows me to do more service and be a member of a different type of community (like a Spanish speaking worship service, or something like that, rather than the college church). I'd like to make a bigger effort to make healthy choices, both for exercise and for eating, and I'd REALLY like to see sweet hubby do the same. I'd like for us to make a bigger effort to get the house into better order, too, since we spend so much time here, and since using this house as a place to grow friendships really is something I would like to make into a bigger actual priority, rather than one I just talk about.
Ahhh, priorities. They are so easy to talk about, and so hard to match.