Friday, July 26, 2013

i am...

waiting for my hair to dry a little bit on its own before i blast it dry with hot air in this already feels-too-warm-even though the AC is set lower than normal house

glad the contractor showed up after i had gotten out of the shower and was almost dressed, rather than while i was in the shower or not nearly dressed....also glad i've known him for a long, long time, so it was less awkward to yell "just a minute" from my closed bedroom door while hurrying to find shorts and t-shirt and not brushing my wet hair

thrilled to have new rafters, a new roof, and a new ceiling in the dining room

not thrilled to pay for the new rafters, roof, and ceiling in the dining room

thrilled that it shouldn't rain inside my house again anytime soon

slowly waking up after a morning nap, or moving very slowly this morning

not packed or ready to go to the mountains this weekend

excited to share sliding rock with sweet hubby and the friends from Chile who are visiting, as the official photographer for the outing, and not have any pressure whatsoever on me to slide in the freezing cold water

sad to have left the beach for what is most likely the last time before the baby is born, even though she's not due for another 3 weeks (and I don't expect her to be born before or on her due date, either!)

happy to have enjoyed the beach very thoroughly for the few days we were there -- swimming in the ocean, boat ride, outlet shopping (I bought NOTHING!!! go me!), private beach, winery (they served me sprite and chocolates while the friends had their tasting!), and an hour long swim off the dock at high tide with sweet hubby, just floating in the perfectly still water and enjoying each other's company

a little bit annoyed that we have house guests (the friends) for the next week and a half while i'd rather be doing baby related nesting projects....and they are staying in the baby's room

trying to live in the moment and enjoy the friends' visit, since they are the 2nd and 3rd people to ever visit us here in the states in the 8 years sweet hubby has been living in the states (7 years of marriage).

doing my best not to be grumpy when i have super swollen feet, am hungry or thirsty, and need to go to the bathroom for the millionth time while the friends or sweet hubby are still enjoying being tourists

getting used to looking at the baby swing now set up in our living room

waiting for a few packages of cloth diapers to arrive in the mail

finished writing thank-you notes for the big baby shower last week

puzzling over the polite way to tell a good friend that i don't want her to come and/or bring her family to see me/help out a week after the baby is due (especially since i don't think the baby will actually be here yet, and i think my family would like to have first dibs on the initial helping out)

eager to meet the baby already and simultaneously anxious about the changes that are coming when she is born

having a very hard time keeping her name to myself -- i think it so often, i'm afraid i'll just blurt it out by accident sometime soon

going to go dry my hair now

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

i am....

listening to the roofers bang around above me

so tired of not sleeping well at night, but know i am nowhere near as tired as i'll be once Peanut is born

debating whether i need to eat another triple chocolate cookie or not (probably "or not", but it's likely i'll eat it anyway)

excited to have a mom-car now

overwhelmed by the past two weeks of my life...grandma, time at the beach with cousins, the family dog dying, new roof, new car, a wonderful woman from church many ups and downs

thinking about putting away some more baby things, especially those given to us at sweet hubby's work shower on sunday night

also considering putting away my target purchases from this morning -- shampoo and lotion and such to get me through the first few months of not wanting to go to the store and not wanting to describe the products i prefer in great detail to sweet hubby

waiting for the contractor to tell me how much extra it will cost to have new rafters installed above the dining room

wanting to take a nap but not sure the noise level around me will allow it

avoiding preparing for the math training at school tomorrow

not planning to do anything to make the kitchen more presentable -- not unloading the dishwasher and not reloading it, not washing anything from the sink....hoping sweet hubby will do it later tonight

going to lie down and count the month of days until Peanut is here (eep! one month until the due date!)

Wednesday, July 10, 2013


This is a picture, from probably 20 years ago, of my grandma.

She passed away one week ago.

It was a surprise, but also not a huge surprise.

Grandma was a fixture throughout my childhood, teen years, young adulthood, and she was very excited about Peanut.

She outlived her husband by 27 years; most of that time she lived alone, in the house they had built together when my dad was a boy.

A few years ago, as her health was declining, and her driving skills were becoming more and more questionable, we helped her move into an apartment in a retirement home/assisted living/nursing home facility where seniors move in while independent and then can later be transferred throughout the facility into higher levels of care as needed.

Grandma never moved from the apartment, but she did acquire round-the-clock sitters who would help her with meals and dressing and all sorts of things.

She began using a walker or a wheelchair to go out.

Sitting for long periods of time began to bother her.

Her eyesight was so poor she could no longer enjoy reading, a frequent pass-time of hers. She had surgery a couple years ago to remove the lense placed in her eye during a cataract surgery when it had fallen/slipped loose -- she had outlived the normal life span of the cataract surgery.

When she first heard that I was engaged to sweet hubby, she said, "I'd like to be happy for you, but that (Chile) is too far away." She was thrilled when we moved home to get married, and sweet hubby became one of her favorite visitors.

She kept the little stuffed dog that my sister gave her for christmas or her birthday one year a long time ago, that had batteries and yapped and did a flip after barking at you, even after it stopped working, and moved it with her to the retirement home.

The year I started college, after Thanksgiving dinner, she pulled me aside for a serious conversation. "I'm very worried about you not joining a sorority. How will you meet men?"

Sweet hubby and I went to visit her at her house shortly after sweet hubby had arrived in the states. She had me try on her engagement ring, and offered to leave it to me one day, since she didn't think sweet hubby would ever be able to afford to buy me one. When she had her eye surgery, she was so worried she went ahead and gave me the ring. (I wear it, too -- it is a beautiful ring!)

She taught my siblings and me to play canasta when we were little, and also how to shuffle. My students are constantly in awe of my card shuffling skills.

Though her tongue could bite, at heart were always the best intentions -- corrections of letters mailed to her from summer camp, with the intention of us having better grammar or spelling; constant reminders of manners at the dinner table; flagging down my friends to have them return and make their beds at the beach house....She had character and an interesting (unconventional) way of showing her love for us.

She will be greatly missed.

Saturday, July 6, 2013

ups and downs

beginning of the week: up
1. extra day at the beach
2. yoga with mama, twice
3. normal check up for baby and me
4. lunch with mama and sister
5. plans to return to beach for 4th of july holiday
6. positive meeting with 2nd grade team

turning point: about 12:30 p.m. wed. july 3

1. grandma (aged 96) passed away
2. rushed overnight trip to beach to clean house and pack up clothes -- less than 24 hours
3. sleepless nights
4. mangled nursing top by trying to use double needle in new sewing machine (hopefully no permanent damage to machine, only to top)
5. downpour inside dining room/leaking chimney (again), 1 hour before visitation for grandma
6. trying to find someone to put tarp on roof during rain, holiday weekend, and visitation
7. long term sub canceled for fall

it's turned into a rough week.

hopefully it will feel less stressful SOON.