I am older. I can tell it in the needed recovery time from running or yoga.
I can tell it when I get up at the first alarm chime in the morning, at 5:30, and wehn I'm ready for bed at 9:30 at night.
I can tell it when I think that kids and teenagers and college students are crazy for the choices they make.
But sometimes I can't tell it. I can't tell when I am supposed to cross the line and stop taking crazy vacations with too few plans.
I can't tell when I'm supposed to have the rhythm of always getting the dishwasher unloaded the same day it was run will fall into place.
I can't tell when things like the paperwork for refinancing a mortgage won't totally blow me away with their level of complexity and my own level of not understanding.
Someday, I keep thinking, I will know that I am older. And I will act like it. But so far, I can't seem to forget how young I still feel, how inexperienced, how naive, how stubbornly set in my own silly ways of thought, not able to recognize that there are bigger and better ways out there, sometimes even staring me in the face.
One day....I will be older, and it won't just be because I see grey hairs peaking at me in the mirror.
I'm sharing at the Gypsy Mama's five minute friday.