Friday, September 23, 2011

five minute friday

Joining in with the gypsy mama for five minute friday, on growing.

I am growing rounder, but for no reason. I am growing slower, but also for no reason. I am growing impatient and grouchy and annoyed with others, and usually for no other reason than what I want is not happening. I am growing impatient with God, thinking that what I want now is better than his timing. I am growing, slowly, in recognition of how wrong my thoughts are, my plans, my timing.

I am growing older, too. I am waiting. I growing to understand the decisions that other people sometimes make, the same ones that I have told myself time and time again that I would never make, and wondering whether my convictions are changing, and whether they should.

I am growing to wonder whether my convictions of old were ideas planted by God for me to do his work in the future, or whether they were silly ideals planted to make me doubt and doubt and doubt.

I am hopeful, and growing more and more hopeful still, that God is working in me and will grant me the desires of my heart when it is the right time, according to His plan, not mine. I'm growing patience and impatience all at once.

2 comments:

  1. I like the tension you present as you talk about your growing. May God continue to grow in you the desire that HE places in your heart, and may you be able to endure the often painful growth of patience.

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  2. I love your honesty and vulnerability here. Praying with you as God continues to grow you in the plans and purposes He has for you. Great 5 minutes.

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