(probably TMI today....fair warning.)
I woke up for about the third time around 4:30 on Sunday morning, went to the bathroom, and new something was not right. Even in the dark (just a nightlight in the bathroom for mid-night bathroom runs -- helps me fall back asleep faster), I could tell that there was some bleeding going on.
So I sat there for a while, and checked again.
I started to sniffle a little, then it escalated into full on weeping.
I woke sweet hubby up.
I mean, really, really panicked.
He had to call the doctor's office for me.
At almost 5:00 in the morning, on a weekend.
The answering service had my doctor call us back.
She sounded pretty sleepy, but advised me to stay home, stay quiet, not lift anything, and only go to the emergency room if the bleeding got worse. She finished with "call the office on Monday, come in, and we'll check you."
Thank you, 5 a.m. sleepy doctor, for not reassuring me AT ALL. I sobbed for at least another hour before falling back asleep, sweet hubby holding me the whole time.
I woke up again around 9 a.m. still totally freaked out, but fortunately, bleeding less. And crying a little less, but still crying a lot.
My good friend Dr. Google was actually very good to me -- instead of making me think of worse case scenarios, it allowed me to entertain the possibility that everything was normal and that I had less to worry about.
When my dad texted and then texted again and then called to offer us a ride to church, I ignored the phone. Sweet hubby answered when my dad tried again, at the house number, and said we weren't going to make it to church. I couldn't talk to anyone.
My sister called to see if we would make it to lunch -- sweet hubby, again, ran interference and said no.
I texted my partner teacher -- she found a sub for me and called in sick for me, and said they would start praying.
I texted roommate -- she started praying for us.
Then I took a nap.
I spent the day alternating between sleeping and crying, with my fear easing more and more as the bleeding stopped and stayed stopped. I still managed, even with basically sleeping all day, to sleep all night (except for the million bathroom breaks, but that seems to be par for the course right now).
My doctor's office opens at 8:30, but it wasn't until closer to 8:45 that they finally switched the phone system on (from the answering service message). How soon could I come in? 20 minutes -- long enough to throw on clothes and find a parking spot.
Sweet hubby already had the day off work today, so he went with me. We arrived, waited a few minutes, and then were called back for the basic vitals check -- pee in a cup, blood pressure, weight check.
Then we waited about an hour and a half before we were called again, led across the hall, and surprised with an ultrasound.
The ultrasound tech did a WHOLE LOT to help me feel relief -- she showed us the baby and the baby's heartbeat, and when she wanted to measure other things, she turned the screen a little so I couldn't see what she was doing. I'm sure it is her job to keep potentially bad news for the doctor to reveal, but just seeing the baby was AMAZING.
That the baby was/is still there and still alive? AMAZING. I felt like a huge weight was lifted off my chest.
When she finished, she led us to another waiting area, where we probably waited 30 minutes to be shown into the doctor's office. Then we waited probably 30 minutes in the doctor's office for him -- he came in and out a few times, grabbing papers and excusing himself -- "I'm not really here yet!" "I'll be back soon, I promise!". Once he was finally able to sit down with us, he gave me the good and the "keep an eye on this" news.
For now, the baby is fine and healthy.
However, there is a big spot on the ultrasound of blood hemorrhaging near the baby.
And, unrelated to this saga, I have several cysts that will probably need to be dealt with post-baby, that I was unaware of.
The odds are 90% that the baby will be fine, 10% that the threatened miscarriage will happen.
I'm clinging to that 90%.
So it was unexpected, but also kind of exciting to see the baby. It was unexpected to spend the day home from school today, sleeping off the excitement.
It was WONDERFUL to see how my community rallied around me, surrounding us in prayer, and celebrating when we were able to relate good news.
And as a bonus, we were able to take my Mama to lunch, and while there we ran into roommate and another long-lost friend who agreed to sit with us. It was such a celebration -- relief pouring forth, the bear hugs, catching up from the holidays and talking about future plans.
I'll go back to school tomorrow, turning this week into a four day week for me, and then have a short week next week and the week after, too, because of Professional Development and Martin Luther King Day. And then I should be a lot closer to the end of the 1st trimester, and hopefully beginning to regain some energy.
If you made it this far, please PRAY for me -- peace of mind, that I'm part of the 90%, that the baby stays healthy in there....I definitely appreciate it!