Tuesday, June 25, 2013

change of plans

*warning -- pregnant rambling ahead!*

I should be at the beach right now, but I'm not.

I was at the beach last week, as planned, but it was a little harder to have adventures than planned.

Sweet hubby, late at night, the night before he was supposed to drive to the beach with my sister, had a little accident.

He dislocated his shoulder.

For the fourth time.

My sister drove him around town (discapacitated with one arm immobilized and the remnants of a morphine high from the ER) to take care of some odds and ends, and then drove him to the beach for family beach week.

He finally has an appointment with an orthopedist today, where I'm sure there will be discussion of surgery to stabilize his shoulder, before we head back to the beach tomorrow for our annual college friends beach reunion, which would be impossible to reschedule. Canceling (unless there are extreme circumstances) would waylay the vacation plans of two of my college best friends, since they count this trip as their summer vacation and plan for it all year.

I'm fairly certain that surgery would knock sweet hubby out of work for the rest of the summer, which would drastically change our budgeting for maternity leave. (Not to mention paying for the surgery itself....but that is a different story.)

I'm also unclear on how well sweet hubby will follow a physical therapy routine. He didn't follow a physical therapy routine the last time he dislocated his shoulder, or the time before that, or, as far as I know, the time before that either. He starts off with good intentions, and then it all just falls to the wayside. I know this is a common experience for many people, and I'm only sort of judging....It just seems to me that if one knows he has a preventable problem, he would take steps to prevent it....but in sweet hubby's case, that doesn't usually happen.

I love the man -- there is no question about that. I do, however, frequently become annoyed at his "leave it for later" attitude, which results in running out of groceries because he didn't feel like going to the grocery store before noon and had other obligations all afternoon, or waiting until later to mow the grass and a thunderstorm popping up so he can't get it done, or leaving the laundry until there are four or five loads that need to be washed all in one day, or waiting until the day the assignment is due to work on it for class....I wish there was some way to instill a sense of "work before play" into a grown man, without ever feeling like I was nagging him or pressuring him or acting like his mom.

I have my days, too, not to pretend that I am perfect -- no one always gets the laundry done as soon as a basket is full, or always grocery shops so that certain essential items never run out, or is always ahead of the weather to mow the lawn, or completely ahead on school assignments...but there are people who do a little bit better on the prioritizing of how to spend hours of the day, and are a little bit better prepared for life in general because of it.

So I'll take sweet hubby to this appointment today, where the doctor will probably request an MRI (and therefore another two appointments must be scheduled -- one with a radiologist, another follow up with the orthopedist), there will be discussion of surgery, and I will be frustrated at the suggestion of the doctor that sweet hubby will need to follow a strict regimen of physical therapy (with or without surgery, the shoulder must be rehabilitated), and sweet hubby will nod his head and enthusiastically agree that he will do the exercises every! day! and after we are home (or at the beach, or wherever), he will not do the exercises ever.

And then I will have a new baby girl that he cannot hold because he failed to take care of his body.


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