my pink life, mi vida rosada

I was supposed to participate in a race today, since I was recovering from a cold during the race on Dec. 8 that I had originally planned to count as my December race. When the alarm went off this morning and I made it into the kitchen for some breakfast, I noticed that it was pouring. Not just a little sprinkling of rain, but water coming down so fast and hard that I couldn't see the marsh in front of the house, and when I opened the porch for it sounded like a waterfall. Sweet hubby and I decided that it should count anyway, even though we went back to bed. I tried, twice, to participate in a race in December. December is not a month when many races are available in my area, since most people don't want to run in the cold and are busy with other holiday stuff, too. I cheered hard and loud at the race on Dec.8, even though I was getting over two days of not being able to talk well enough to teach new material at school. Even though we decided not to participate this ...

I hope that your holiday was as wonderful as mine. Well, most parts of mine, at least. Sweet hubby forgot to take his allergy medicine on Christmas Eve, and snored all night long. He wouldn't roll over when I tried to make him, either! The snoring combined with my now overactive bladder did not make for a very restful night, which made the festivities seem too long on Christmas day. My immediate family gathered for breakfast at my mama's house (I took cinnamon rolls...yum!), which is a tradition. We help get last minute things done until the grits are ready and my dad is home from rounds at the hospital (ahhh, call on Christmas morning). Then we listen to Christmas music while we eat -- Mama's favorite is Johnny Mathis, so I don't think I'll ever be able to really feel like it is Christmas morning without Johnny playing. After breakfast, we went to see what Santa had brought, and then to open gifts from one another. I was sooooo excited to get two of th...

getting excited about christmas! not excited to have found a HUGE limb down from a tree that has limbs over our kitchen. scheduled to have my first prenatal appointment on monday. having said tree removed from my yard on Wednesday. By the sketchy tree service the recommendation of a friend of the family recommended since he retired last year and which I can't find a website for on the internets to help me feel better about not checking around with other tree services who do have websites on the internets.... putting off the gift wrapping, but it really must be done pretty soon. also putting off the grocery shopping and hoping that sweet hubby will do the rest of it without me (he made me go to Sam's this morning, since I have the card and he doesn't). gearing up to clean the kitchen and start some laundry. wishing the house would clean itself. going to meet roommate's new kitty this afternoon! hoping, hoping, hoping for a nap pretty soon. dreading th...

God is good. If you'll remember, a few weeks ago, I had a sort of strange experience where I thought God might be giving me signs . Signs that I had prayed for, but still didn't know how to accept as signs from Him. God is so BIG, and so AMAZING. It took a lot for me to announce that I was going to believe that the verses God was giving me were truly gifts from Him. It was totally worth it. I have claimed God's promises, and God is making them come true. Guess who is having a baby in August?!!!

There are 8 days of school left before the holiday break. There are 34 students who are getting more and more excited about being on said break.... It is not my favorite combination. Throw in a cold, this whole past week, that made me lose my voice and my patience....I was not the nicest teacher. One of my parents thinks that her child is being bullied, when many other students think her child is the bully. Her child threw a laptop at another on Thursday and was suspended. It didn't happen in my classroom, so I don't really know all of the details. I do know that her son had already been having a rough day, and that her son has anger management problems. I also know the other child involved had a bad reputation last year for stealing and lying, and may not be truthful about his participation in the situation. I think it is sad that some students think it is funny to provoke others. My students had a guidance lesson this week on "sandpaper words" and ...

I stink at waiting. Waiting Waiting Waiting Waiting. That's all.

thankful for my family. snuggled up in a blanket on the couch at the beach. learning some interesting family history from about 8 generations back. waiting for sweet hubby to wake up. checking out sewing machine deals online. drooling over silhouette cutters. considering working on the awful puzzle we started at memorial day weekend and haven't been able to finish all summer and fall (at the beach, so not always available). wishing I had the pictures from last night's walk on the beach at sunset to share. excited about the boat parade we're planning to watch tonight. avoiding doing work for the class I'm taking. filling up on pumpkin pie.

So as the whole world knows by now, I'm in a rocky place where my faith is concerned. I want to have great hope and put all of my trust in the Lord, but over and over so far my greatest desire seems out of reach. In my quest for some sort of balance, I've begun to write my prayers down, instead of simply praying them in my head. (This is in addition to talking to good friends, my godmother, my counselor, my sweet hubby, running on a semi-regular basis, etc.) It has been good for me, so far, because it is forcing me to take the time to slow down and focus and to really be intentional about trying to be thankful, even when I don't really feel thankful. It is forcing me to recognize feelings and questions that I have about this whole infertility experience that before I hadn't been able to fully form or fully recognize. It is also forcing me to be more open to hearing God's response -- this taking time to really pay attention also gives me a time and place wh...

1. I finished my 8k race this morning in 56 minutes. I was surprised to be able to run the whole thing, even if I went super slow. This also means that I only have one more race to go in order to meet my 2012 New Year's Resolution Goal of running a race every month. I'm pretty excited to be 11/12 of the way there! Thanks to sweet hubby for taking this little picture after I got home. 2. I had an HSG on Thursday, which was surprisingly painful but apparently had a good result -- no blockages or anything. So it's back to waiting and not knowing why I haven't been able to get pregnant yet. 3. There are two school days before Thanksgiving, and I am probably more excited about the break than my students are. 4. I'm making the pioneer woman's cinnamon rolls for our UMW bakesale at church tomorrow. It's always tempting to eat them all and not save any for the bakesale. 5. Wait Wait Don't Tell Me is hilarious. 6. I just finished reading the bo...

And only 6 more school days until the first of the breaks -- Thanksgiving break! One of my absolute FAVORITES!!! I'm so excited to spend time with my family. We'll have dinner with about 35 other aunts/uncles/cousins and then take a long walk in the country. We'll eat dinner in the afternoon and snack all day and then have supper before we leave, too. We'll play games and talk and laugh and chase the little ones around and Uncle Richard will fall asleep in front of the TV. Or in the middle of a conversation. (He has narcolepsy, which we didn't know until a few years ago -- it was a great revelation. Now he takes medicine before all family gatherings, which helps him stay awake for all of the fun!). I'm trying to think positive and get excited about the family time coming up -- it's helping me get through the trying days at school....mondays. And all the other days, too!

definitely going to vote today. looking forward to hanging out with my godmama for a little bit today, and letting her give me insight about what I should do with infertility treatment and faith. listening to mumford & sons. and the cat purring. up early on a day with no school, but that's ok. glad that sweet hubby still has to work today, since we just took a big financial hit. trying really hard to give up my worries to God and trust that he will provide (financially and family wise). annoyed by my messy house. glad I went for a run yesterday, when it was 20 degrees warmer and so much less grey outside. ready to register sweet hubby for a full load of classes this spring, after his part time student status this fall. hopeful that one day he will actually graduate and get a job he loves. full of chai tea from the dutch store in the mountains -- yum. deciding which apple dessert to make with the many apples we still have from picking apples a few weeks a...

(No, not x-rated, you're looking in the wrong place.) I was supposed to go on a college church retreat this weekend. And I didn't. I was very "unresponsible" and made the best decision for me -- not to go. I would have loved spending time in the mountains. I would have loved getting to know some of the students a little bit better. I would have loved spending time taking in God's majesty while watching the sun rise or set over the lake, singing songs of praise, hiking, walking the labyrinth, or sitting in a rocking chair on the front porch. Except that this weekend, I wouldn't have loved any of those things. They would have been a burden to me. And a church retreat? I'm fairly certain that it is not supposed to feel like a burden, but more like a blessing. When sweet hubby's good friend called me and texted me to see if he could ride with me, I said no. I couldn't handle the idea of talking to this man for three hours in the car af...

Yes, it's already Saturday morning. That doesn't mean anything, really. I'd still like to link-up at the Gypsy Mama , so I'm going to. The word of the week: voice. My voice rises, gets louder, then at the breaking point, gets really quiet. "No te escucho," my students say. They look at me, quiet down, and I begin again, with my volume so low that they must strain to hear me over the hum of the air conditioner. It's so loud that most of the time I can't hear myself think. Between the excitement of doing science experiments and the fair and halloween and birthdays and the promise of so many fun things, it is not until I am very quiet that my students finally start to hear me. My voice; when I use it the right way, is a tool for learning. It is a tool for encouraging, a tool for loving. When it gets loud, no one can hear it. When it is quiet, people lean in to listen. Not only in the classroom, but in life, in general. I don'...

In January, I set myself the New Year's Resolution goal of running an organized race at least once every month in 2012. I can't believe I'm actually 10/12 of the way there! In August, my running buddy spotted a groupon for "Color Me Rad" -- one of those trendy races where people start out all dressed in white and people throw color at them until they are all sorts of rainbow looking. I agreed to run with her, thinking it would be nice to try something different, and the groupon made the price of the race really affordable. And then, school started, September happened, I more or less stopped running. Oh no! Except I was still running a little teeny tiny bit. Coaching Girls on the Run, occasionally meeting up with running buddy for a walk/jog, rarely heading out on my own. So not running much, but running a little teeny tiny bit. Last Saturday, it was time to put on a white shirt and find out what I would really think about having people throw stuff ...

I have been in a slump. A self-deserving, self-pitying, ugly place. I'm trying to get out. I'm trying to appreciate the little things, to look on the bright side, to find the silver lining. It's hard. I want so badly to make big changes in my life, but it is overwhelming. I want so badly to be satisfied with what I have, but I live a life of coveting. I want so badly to be a giver, to let go of what I have, and to know that I will always, always have enough. I want to put my faith in God, and the promises Jesus told us of, and have those promises as my rock. I want to clean out the house, simplify, and be satisfied. But somehow, I am always wanting more, and not of the right things. I want more stuff. More pretty clothes, more pretty dishes, more food in the refrigerator, more furniture, more bedding, more. And more, and more, and more. I want children. I want babies to fill up my house and my heart and my time, rather than just my thoughts of how...

enjoying a Lori McKenna song that I don't know all the words to. a little cold on this rainy, cloudy, super grey day. listening to sweet hubby start the supper preparations....his mama's lentil recipe, and sopaipillas....yum! hungry for that delicious supper. ready for my crazy kids to come back to school tomorrow, after their long weekend, parent conferences, and my work day in the classroom today. sad not to be at the beach, where the weather was amazing this weekend. And the company was even better (thanks to both running buddy and roommate!) hopeful that the next round of fertility medicine will do the trick, but trying not to be *too* hopeful. overwhelmed by my schedule...directing a wedding this weekend, traveling to pick apples, going to see Pilobolus perform, and all within about 36 hours. expecting the kitty cat to snuggle up tonight, since it's actually pretty cold out, and therefore in. not using facebook anymore, and hoping it helps me to be m...

That I have definitely been avoiding dealing with real life. I'm not coping well. I wish I could just be pregnant, already. I wish that the fertility drugs would work. I wish that it wasn't so ingrained in me and everyone else that babies are the natural and expected next step. I wish that it wasn't so socially awkward to be married for more than 5 years and still not have kids. I wish that I wasn't jealous of the random women I don't even know that I see in stores who are pregnant. I wish that I wasn't sort of happy that the pregnant teacher on my hallway will probably be out for the rest of the year, and I don't have to see her waddle and be jealous all day long. I wish that I could talk about it without crying, because I think it would help me feel more normal. I wish that I didn't feel like such a disappointment to friends and family when they'd like to hear happy news. I wish I didn't feel like my body is failing me. I...

I did things my way, in the middle of a group trip. It felt good. Like I'm a grown up. I know, it's ridiculous....but at 31 I finally feel like it is ok for me to say, "I'm too tired for this activity; I'm going to bed." And no one complained. I mean, I get up at 5:30 every morning. It's not unreasonable for me to be tired and ready to sleep around 9:00. I wanted to skip the fire? I skipped it. I wanted to skip the silly games? i skipped them. I wanted to skip the ball game? I skipped it. There was too much other fun to be had. Like, naptime fun. Or sitting in the sun, fun. Or swimming in the lake fun. Or running the trail around the lake fun. Or adventures finding walmart fun. It was a great trip. Lots of fun spent hanging out with the college students. Lots of fun singing praises to God. Lots of fun eating and eating and eating. Lots of fun talking about what it means to be an outsider, and how we are called to this li...

Life lately has been a little bit sad. Ok, a lotta bit sad. My travel buddy's dad passed away on my second day of school, so I quickly made arrangements for an awesome substitute teacher and a last minute flight and was able to spend the day before the memorial service and the day of the memorial service with my travel buddy, her mom, her brother, and her sister. Although it was hard for me to make the decision to leave my classroom and my new group of students so early in the school year, and for three whole days (the most I've ever taken in a row!), I have no doubt that it was the right thing for me to do. When I got back to the airport, my mama told me to run, go hug David, because he was picking up his daughter to take her to the hospital to see her mama, Sister, who, after three long years of awful, awful bone cancer that had spread to lots of other places, had a heart attack in the hospital. I hugged his neck, told him I love him (he's been my boyfriend all m...

The word of the week at The Gypsy Mama is "Graceful". She stands, poised, a half smile on her face. She can't believe that so many people have come, so many people have told her the things she already knew. She shakes hands, embraces, offers to explain the pictures at the front of the room. "He told me the world needs more artists." "The smartest person I know always wanted to emulate him." "He was so giving." "Chicken is famous at the office." She recounts the story of the last day, of him mouthing to her that she is a beautiful person, her telling him the same, blowing kisses to each other to the very end. She tears up briefly, but continues speaking. She is unsure whether heaven exists, where souls go when the body fails. She is disbelieving that he will not be there any more, will not request her used ink cartridges, will not ask her each time he sees her if she is ok financially, will not hold court at the ...

listening to sweet hubby play "rhythm heaven fever" on the wii. excited for students to come back to school on Wednesday! a little bit sad that i will have to start getting up at 5:30 a.m. again. watching the silly kitty nap. happy that my best friends are back in town (and me too!) for a while. looking forward to labor day. glad i ran with my sister today, just before it started raining, because it was way too gray to want to run by myself. gearing up for a long day of working in my classroom and then staying late to meet the parents at school tomorrow. thankful that the university church started back up tonight....it's crazy how much more i connect to God there than at my morning church. still praying for the MacGregor family . (That's my travel buddy.)

finally registered for an August race -- the 25th. Too bad August doesn't have 32 days, because I'd rather have found a race another week away. I've only been "running" twice since the 1/2 marathon in July....And that was a month ago. searching for the motivation to get out of bed and onto the road -- running. only two weeks (less than, really) before the next race! not giving up on my new year's resolution -- it's there to help me stay fit, not to help me be a super fast runner. grumpy that I'm not at the beach anymore. excited to go back to work on Wednesday, especially after a quick trip to my classroom this morning. thankful that sweet hubby voluntarily helped me set up my classroom this morning, doing all the heavy lifting. a little bit disappointed with the colors target is using for their college dorm storage stuff -- I was hoping for some nice, new, shiny, pink containers for my classroom....but their "pink" is a brig...

Just a few highlights.... And I'm missing several pictures from other people's cameras, too!

SO MUCH FUN!!! It was a little hectic getting down to the beach on time, but sweet hubby and I managed to arrive the night before the friends and babies were due to fill up the beach house. (We arrived from Chile, unpacked, repacked, and headed out in the same day!) This year, there were no last-minute trips back home to cope with the house being broken into -- thank you, thank you, thank you, Mr. House-Sitter! We played hard all weekend, and this morning, in the rain and thunder, the friends headed home. We watched movies on the big screen, played some putt putt, swam at the beach, kayaked, went for a boat ride, and had a picnic on a private beach. SO MUCH FUN!!!

back in the states! at the beach! waiting on some college buddies and their families to arrive. hoping sweet hubby won't be grouchy when I wake him up to help me clean this house before the friends and families arrive. getting happy about going back to school in a few weeks. happy to be in the hot weather again, rather than freezing my toes off in the snow. excited for boat rides and sunshine! glad the car place still had my tire, five weeks after my daddy had dropped it off to be repaired and I left the country. still praying for the MacGregors, who have finally received a diagnosis -- Graft vs. Host disease, attacking all of Mr. MacGregor's muscles, including his heart and lungs. Treatment for GVHD has begun, but I'm unsure what the response to it so far has been. probably too excited that today is payday. surprised that my mama had an architect draw up plans to add bedrooms to the beach house, so that we'll actually have enough rooms for all of t...

My dear, dear travel buddy is losing her father. He was diagnosed with pre-leukemia a while ago, and endured several different treatment options to change his blood counts and reverse the course of the disease. The major complication, throughout his treatment, has been a decline of mental stability. He was diagnosed as schizophrenic a whole so, which wasn't a huge surprise to those who knew him well, and also fits hereditarilly with my travel buddy's twin. The situation has progressed, and I've just been informed that the family is all together, at the ICU, waiting for her father to have a permanent release from the increasing confusion and delirium that has played him since February, when he received a bone marrow transfusion. In short, the doctors don't know what is causing the increased mental problems, although they have done every imaginable test and many of them twice. This is a very hard time for my travel buddy and her family. If you pay, please pray...

Wearing my teal blue snow suit and about 75 other articles of clothing, too. Drinking navegado rico beside the wood stove. Enjoying having the lights on in a town that has been dark for several hours...my electrician father-in-law knows how to create a back-up system! A little bit bummed to have lost my first chance to run in several days to snow. Looking forward to the pictures of our excursion to the country, where the road were almost frozen and the snow kept falling. Waiting for the asado that the menfolk are preparing for supper, yum! Starting to think that the emails I send from my tablet don't actually get sent, which could be why I haven't heard from my mama in over a week. Getting excited about seeing the cat and going to the beach in a few weeks.

This trip has been a rollercoaster ride so far. Great times spent with family and friends followed by long stretches of frustration. Such is life in Latin America. We arrived to RAIN. RAIN rain RAIN rain RAIN. Several days later, we finally had some sun, so we headed up to Lonquimay, a town near a volcano. Since it was Sunday, nothing was open. We wandered back down the mountain to Malalcahuello, and treated ourselves to a night in a five star hotel with a thermal pool. That is definitely one of the highlights so far. Another fun time was spent in Temuco with sweet hubby's best friend and his future wife. I discovered an amazing initiative in some of the parks here....outdoor, one size fits all, workout machines. There was what seemed to be a complete set at the park in Temuco. Here in Curacautin, there are only two machines, outside of the local hospital. Prior stared at me like I was the most peculiar thing they had ever seen the day I decided to use them after a run. Tha...

This is where I'm spending some time with my family. It's pretty nice. It rained ALL DAY on Tuesday. And the boat is stuck way up high, out of reach of the broken fork lift, at the marina. But my mama and sister and I are still having some adventures together, and sweet hubby has set up a big screen in the downstairs.... And all in all, being on vacation is nicer than being at work. P.S. My real house has a house sitter -- we're hoping there won't be any break-ins this year!

gearing up for a crazy summer. happy that the training group I'm in for the next three days decided to skip the lunch break and be finished at 1, instead of 2:30. skipping out on taking my grandma to the doctor (Thank you, sister, for being available by phone when I was not!). thinking about re-packing for Chile, since I probably didn't do very well yesterday. writing a list to pack for the beach. trying to decide on a dress to wear to a good friend's wedding this Saturday. more than ready to meet our house sitter for the summer -- the pastor of sweet hubby's best friend, who has been reported to be "much more responsible" than the best friend, who also happens to be the same best friend who was driving sweet hubby's car when it was stolen about two years ago . (Not to be confused with the break-in , which was slightly less than one year ago....it was an eventful 12 months.) admiring the pretty flowers sweet hubby bought me for my birthday (w...

And O.M.G. are the natives restless. So are the parents. I arrived at school this morning, early, because I had agreed to cover someone else's morning duty, to find a lovely email from a parent to an administrator, asking to meet with us about "events in the classroom." No mention of what said "events" were. The administrator had responded to the email before I had a chance to see it, stating he was too busy in the next couple of days, but would be happy to meet after that. I freaked out. This particular parent always thinks she is right. (I'm sure she really is always right. The problem is that I always happen to be right, as well.) This particular parent likes to make a big deal about everything. This particular parent does not have a history of letting go of issues that have already been settled. After I freaked out, the bell rang, and I realized I was already late for covering the other teacher's morning duty. I walked down the hal...

Well, May is busy. The end of the school year is kicking my behind, just like I knew it would, and I am falling further and further behind in my running....just like every year. Saturday was the race of the month -- the Get in the Pink 10K. It was SOOOO much better than the 10K I participated in during the month of March. This one started on time! It started early in the morning, rather than in the hot sun! (7:15 was a little tough, but the weather was so much better for running!) It didn't have so many people I thought I would trip over anyone! Overall, it was a MUCH better race experience. My time was much more along the lines of what I expect of myself -- I finished in 58:16, so appropriately under but close to the 60 minutes or less that I was hoping for. The course was not too hilly -- although it did have a couple of big hills. One huge downhill, one huge uphill -- kind of like the failure of a bridge run in March. One of the best parts? There was also ...

Before an hour of school had passed, one of the assistant principals had come in to my classroom to follow up on a situation that started Friday afternoon with a student and the students' parent. He chose to follow up in English in my classroom while I was teaching. *** Another teacher on my hallway is pregnant. I am not. She announced it today. I was not prepared. I do think I managed to say congratulations, and not cry. That is a small victory. And there were others in the room to ask the usual questions about due dates, and such. *** My (afternoon) students are dishonest and disrespectful. I'm over it. 19 days left with this bunch. My team-teacher and I are counting down together. *** The principal of my school played a video that had been put together for a board meeting during lunch for the students, while we teachers ate outside for our last duty-free lunch of the year. She said she was just showing the student portions of the video....

praying for sweet hubby as he completes an exam....it's almost (almost almost almost) the end of his semester and he's a little nervous about passing this class. He's in the exam RIGHT NOW if you want to offer a prayer, or if you aren't reading this on Tuesday evening, pray for his professor to be merciful and kind when grading. eating peanut butter m&ms. yum. excited about the new camera and tripod that are in my classroom, thanks to donors choose! hoping we can save enough spending money for Chile, since sweet hubby didn't get as many hours at work as he was hoping for this month. counting down -- 23 more days of school before summer, and 3 of them half days! anticipating lots and lots of sweat as i attempt 7 miles running later tonight....it's only about 90 degrees outside. skipping a church dinner. Spring is too busy to keep up with everything. a little overwhelmed by the crazy school scheduling stuff going on -- so many tests! so many ...

Today was my April race, towards my 2012 goal of a race a month. So far, it is definitely helping me to stay motivated and keep running....even when I don't feel like it. I always have the next race that I need to train for. Sweet hubby took this picture of me while he was half asleep this morning -- it is definitely hard to get up so early sometimes on Saturday mornings, just to go for a run! Today was the Girls on the Run race. So I didn't have a fast time, because I was more concerned with making sure that my running buddy, a fifth grade student, was having a good time. My running buddy needed to walk several times and ran/walked at least a mile with a serious stitch in her side....but when she saw that finish line, she SPRINTED it in. I mean, I didn't know I could go that fast -- but I told her it was my job to keep up with her. This spring has been my first experience coaching Girls on the Run . It is really a very interesting program, and I've tho...

I'm very, very close to meeting my class project donation goal.... but I still need a little bit of help. PLEASE consider donating a little bit to my class project at donor's choose .... It is very easy! It is rewarding! It helps students take their learning to a higher level. If you think it sounds like a neat idea, but don't have the funds to donate yourself, please consider spreading the word....whether it ends up being my project that is funded, or someone else's, any teacher who is desperate enough for monetary help for the classroom will be overjoyed to have your help serving his or her students. I also heard that if you use the code "MORNINGJOE", your donation will be doubled!

It's hard to believe that another year has gone by. It seems like it was so recent that we celebrated the big 3-0.... But 31 has come, and I'm sure it will fly right by, too. No big party this year....a nice, quiet dinner out for me and sweet hubby, followed soon by a family dinner. Two of my favorite ways to celebrate. I spent the rest of spring break at the beach with my god-family. They adopted me as their godchild as part of my wedding ceremony with sweet hubby, to guide us and mentor us in our marriage. I think it is a pretty darn cool tradition. It was fantastic. Lazy days, strawberry picking, a long-ish run (for me), a few meals out, a boat ride, and on and on and on. It was a nice break from school. Oh, did it make it hard to return....But we're back in school for another couple months before our next (big!) break. It is hard not to feel stressed about how much is left to be taught before state testing....before the end of the year....but I'm trying to ...

It was amazing. I cried the whole time (that was predictable). But I was also able to voice my feelings in an honest and non-judged way that made me feel like it is actually ok to feel the way I feel about not being able to have babies (yet?). It was awkward to go back to the place I used to work, to sit in the waiting room and fill out paperwork, to run into another therapist in the hallway and explain that no, I wasn't just visiting.... But overall, it was a really good experience. I heard the things I needed to hear, said the things I needed to say, and have set some challenges to myself for coping with more and more of my friends and acquaintances becoming pregnant. And I feel good about it, like finally acknowledging this challenge in my life to the people who are actually living alongside me will make it both more real and also less of a burden. More real in a way that I may or may not really want it to seem more real, since more real means I will actually have to start a...

Yay! Pink things! While they are everywhere in my life....they are seldom new and exciting, and therefore often fail to make an appearance here. My Easter dress, though, was nice a pink! (Thanks, mama!) It has been a while since we have gotten all of the family together in a picture...Actually, not sooooo long, since the wedding in September, but we didn't take my grandma with us to the wedding. It was after surgery on her eye, and she just hadn't recovered sufficiently. I have a folder full of family pictures from the past few years, that I copied from my mama -- it goes like this: holiday, holiday, birthday birthday birthday holiday birthday beach holiday holiday birthday birthday birthday holiday birthday beach holiday holiday.....and so on -- because we apparently only ever take pictures of our family during holidays and birthdays. The folder makes me giggle -- and I love to flash through the pictures in order and watch our hairstyles change -- since the locations are a...