Y'all. Back to school is no joke.
It is kicking my tail to keep up with an elementary school teaching schedule with an elementary school non-existent planning schedule.
I'm trying to remind myself to get off the technology, up and moving, doing something, anything!, to feel like I am still moving forward with house care, laundry, being a decent mom, and taking care of myself.
My husband has been very encouraging through this time of transition. I'm really hoping that it will feel less like a transition soon -- it still feels terribly difficult to walk out the door first in the morning and often return home last each day, and to want to be providing the childcare but relying on someone else to do it, and to want to be the one finding the deals at the grocery store and cooking for the family, but not physically be able to be that person right now. And it is hard, too, because going back to work, and in this capacity, was sort of a choice -- sort of not. I mean, I chose my profession, and I chose to seek a job within the profession I'm trained and educated for....but my first choice would have been private school, and this is not. My first choice would have been a balanced planning/teaching schedule, and this is not. My first choice really would have been to find a higher paying, somehow part time, job in a related but non-classroom field that would also allow me to have summers off with my kids, but I looked for that and didn't find it....so here I am. And yes, I technically could have chosen to stay home another year or so, but that would have entailed selling our house, moving to a different one, and moving farther away from my extended family and all the support they provide...so not exactly a first choice kind of option, either.
So, time of transition. I'm afraid that this entire school year will feel like a time of transition. So many things that are done in a way that seems totally new and different and sometimes, frankly, wrong, to me -- things that I'm sure others think are regular, normal, right ways to do things. Say a prayer for me that by the end of the month, this month or next, it won't feel like a constant barrage of new, do now, should have been done a week ago....
So I've been trying to carve out tiny pockets of time just for me. A week ago, I skipped Sunday School. I love my Sunday School class, and I think I learn a lot from it, but I felt very strongly that I needed a little bit of time to myself with no other humans in my house. So I stayed home, and that 45 minutes to myself became the beginning of a new dress. And then later in the week, I took a half day off from my classroom to take Peanut to the doctor (well check!), and after depositing her safely to her school, went home for a little bit and spent the morning working on the dress. (It's a modified Isla -- raised neckline, extended bodice, woven skirt with pockets, and I love it! Super comfortable! But no pictures, yet!)
Now I'm trying to figure out how I can schedule all future doctor appointments at regular intervals, first thing in the morning, and still have extra time left over for me-time before reporting back to school.....
It is kicking my tail to keep up with an elementary school teaching schedule with an elementary school non-existent planning schedule.
I'm trying to remind myself to get off the technology, up and moving, doing something, anything!, to feel like I am still moving forward with house care, laundry, being a decent mom, and taking care of myself.
My husband has been very encouraging through this time of transition. I'm really hoping that it will feel less like a transition soon -- it still feels terribly difficult to walk out the door first in the morning and often return home last each day, and to want to be providing the childcare but relying on someone else to do it, and to want to be the one finding the deals at the grocery store and cooking for the family, but not physically be able to be that person right now. And it is hard, too, because going back to work, and in this capacity, was sort of a choice -- sort of not. I mean, I chose my profession, and I chose to seek a job within the profession I'm trained and educated for....but my first choice would have been private school, and this is not. My first choice would have been a balanced planning/teaching schedule, and this is not. My first choice really would have been to find a higher paying, somehow part time, job in a related but non-classroom field that would also allow me to have summers off with my kids, but I looked for that and didn't find it....so here I am. And yes, I technically could have chosen to stay home another year or so, but that would have entailed selling our house, moving to a different one, and moving farther away from my extended family and all the support they provide...so not exactly a first choice kind of option, either.
So, time of transition. I'm afraid that this entire school year will feel like a time of transition. So many things that are done in a way that seems totally new and different and sometimes, frankly, wrong, to me -- things that I'm sure others think are regular, normal, right ways to do things. Say a prayer for me that by the end of the month, this month or next, it won't feel like a constant barrage of new, do now, should have been done a week ago....
So I've been trying to carve out tiny pockets of time just for me. A week ago, I skipped Sunday School. I love my Sunday School class, and I think I learn a lot from it, but I felt very strongly that I needed a little bit of time to myself with no other humans in my house. So I stayed home, and that 45 minutes to myself became the beginning of a new dress. And then later in the week, I took a half day off from my classroom to take Peanut to the doctor (well check!), and after depositing her safely to her school, went home for a little bit and spent the morning working on the dress. (It's a modified Isla -- raised neckline, extended bodice, woven skirt with pockets, and I love it! Super comfortable! But no pictures, yet!)
Now I'm trying to figure out how I can schedule all future doctor appointments at regular intervals, first thing in the morning, and still have extra time left over for me-time before reporting back to school.....
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