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Job stuff/Life stuff

So.  I submitted my contract to teach in the 2019-20 school year. 

I have mixed feelings about it.

I'm a good teacher. I know a lot. I like to do things well. I am kind and compassionate. I have a lot that I can offer the kids in my classroom.

Teaching is not a well paid profession.  It requires long hours (sure, the contract says 7:30-3:30, and then it adds this lovely little catch-all of "and other duties as assigned" that really means work all the hours, all the time, even when you are supposed to be on a day off or you are sick or whatever, and come early to keep kids safe at school and stay late to plan for tomorrow and stay for this special event and this meeting and all of these extras that oh wait hey you thought we were paying you for teaching? We really meant come spend your whole life here at the school working!) and has high demands (be a counselor! be a professional! turn in all these forms!  go to all these extra meetings!  prove that your students are learning on this specific standardized test, but don't teach to the test!  teach to all the different learning styles in your classroom at the same time! individualize for every one of your students! follow this curriculum with fidelity, but do what is best for your students! and by the way, you have to pay out of pocket for almost all of the supplies that you would like to use for teaching! But you don't mind, right?  You love your students as if they were your own children!)

And I do love my students, and care for them, but they are not my children.  I am responsible for helping them learn academically, emotionally, socially, but at the end of the day, they go home to their own families.  Families who often disparage the teacher and put her down and complain that she isn't doing enough.

News Flash: She isn't paid to do "enough" but she often goes above and beyond and does it anyway.

So I'm committed to returning to this classroom setting, where I will work long hours with few bathroom breaks, many students and me the one adult in the room, trying to help them advance in their learning, administering tests, supervising lunches and recesses and games and independent work and leading classroom discussions and doing science experiments and on and on and on....

But I'm going to put more limits on my commitment this time that I ever did before.  And even before staying home with  my own children, I had pretty strict limits for myself of only doing work at the school (unless home with a kid for a sick day).  I'll set a strict schedule for what time I leave the school each afternoon.  I won't spend my own money on things for the classroom.  I won't be the teacher who goes above and beyond.  I am sad about that, because I like to excel at what I do, but I'm determined that this will be the way, because the job is not paid to go above and beyond.  The more above and beyond I work at a job, the less above and beyond I can offer my family.  And my family is the reason I'm returning to work.

I'll say it again: My family is the reason I'm returning to work.  I have LOVED staying home for the past two years.  It's been really hard, too.  I enjoyed seeing my littlest baby grow and change.  I enjoyed having extra time with Miss Middle.  I enjoyed being the one to pick up Peanut from school most days. I enjoyed having the flexibility to babysit my niece when her mom went back to work before she had a spot in daycare. I enjoyed having the flexibility to shop with my mom on a whim, or go to lunch with a friend, or grocery shop with no kids.  I enjoyed working on and completing a variety of projects in the sewing/craft room.  All of these things are now a part of my legacy.

And I want my legacy to include some of the things my parents have given me: the ability to choose any career path; enough funds to get me out of almost any emergency, enough life experiences to be kind and compassionate and also know how to have a good time....And these parts of the legacy will be much easier to provide when we become, once more, a two income family. 

So this is what I'm doing: returning to the classroom with a commitment to do the best given the time constraints I'll put on my job, and demonstrating to my kids that it's worth it to set goals and work towards them, even if I won't be the one to benefit from them way down the line.

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