Wow, re-reading my last post from....two years ago...what an interesting way to start off the year! And to think I had remembered this space, this online journal of sorts, to come by and set some intentions for 2018.
Here we are, finally with the last few boxes unpacked from the move in November 2015, with the family collage pictures finally hung up the staircase, with three children instead of only two....
My, how life has changed! And also, my how life has stayed the same!
I find myself looking forward to getting back into routines in 2018. The beginning of this school year has seen lots of transitions in my family: new baby in October, public school (pre-K) for peanut, half day preschool for miss middle, retirement for my dad (coming up in...7 more days?), a new baby for my sister, a visit from the Chilean grandparents ending tomorrow....Some of these, handled gracefully, and some of them, not so much.
Peanut has been struggling with following directions and being kind and respectful at school. I worry that I have pushed her too fast, my extremely social child, who loves to be with her peers and is agitated when we stay at the house all day, to spend her days at school, one of the youngest of her class. But being out of the house during the week is all she has ever known, my firstborn, who started day care and never stopped, since I was working....but perhaps last years teachers were right, and she would benefit from being the oldest in her class instead of the youngest? As we look for solutions to the behavior problems she is presenting in the pre-K classroom, I'm tempted to find her a spot at miss middle's half day program, pull her home with me, spend more time with just her....but I also know that creating another set of upheaval and transition is not the answer! And it would mess up everyone else, too -- it would take away miss middle's bit of time with just me and baby, it wouldn't actually create any new time for Peanut to be with just me. And one of the big draws of the new school this year is that half of the school day is taught in Spanish, which helps Peanut improve her ability to speak with her grandparents.
Miss middle is just that -- trying to find her place in the family, in the middle of being a baby and big girl. She's almost potty trained, but wants her nuggles. It helps her to have time with just me before school, especially if baby brother is napping. She is testing all the limits, making sure that we are paying attention to her. She is thriving.
And baby boy...what a sweet baby boy. He coos, he smiles, he sleeps, he grows. The third baby grows so much faster than the first. Almost three months old already, and probably weighs the same as the first at her 1 year birthday. Peanut and miss middle love that baby boy fiercely, but also want to make sure that they are still loved, too. I constantly ask myself how long it will take for them to realize that my love for each of them has only grown, even though my time to spend with each individually has diminished? They may be grownups before they understand, with families of their own, but until then I will continue to do my best. And when I don't, to apologize and try to be better in the future.
This transition to a family of three also came with the hard decision to stay home from work, for the year, or maybe for indefinitely. The idea of trying to get three small people to their three different schools/daycares and me to my school while also not sleeping through the night and trying to make time to pump and also trying to pay for all three of their schools was....not appealing. And a losing proposition -- I would have had to pay to go to work. Though I am now losing years of experience in the classroom, preventing salary increases, etc., the out of pocket costs of me working this year, both financial and mental were too expensive. So I started the school year with a few hours of time to myself in the house each day, and now spend those hours focused on the baby (instead of all three lovely children).
The grandparents (and tio Wardo) have been here for two weeks, for the holidays, getting to know the girls again and to snuggle the baby. It has simultaneously been lovely to have extra hands and stressful to constantly have the house full. I am enough of an introvert and set enough in my rhythms that though I will miss them, I am ready to have my space back for me, and my time. I'm also ready for my husband to stop burning the candle at both ends...up with the children early, up with the family until late...
And so, I begin this year with some intentions. My monthly goal this year is to invite someone to do something together: a fallen-out-of touch with friend to supper once a quarter, and to cultivate friendships with two other lovely ladies who have children close to the ages of mine by inviting them to do something together at least once a quarter. Stay-at-home life has some wonderful rhythms and freedoms, but also has some lonely and too-quiet moments. I'd like to be intentional about cultivating friendships and opening my home to friends more often. I've found in the past that setting a monthly goal that is concrete and measurable can help me stick to the intention of what I want to accomplish; I wanted to be more physically fit, so I committed to run a paid race (mostly 5ks) each month, to keep me training all year long; I wanted to spend more time relaxing, so I committed to a trip to the beach once a month. The year we moved into this house, we committed to invite someone (anyone!) to dinner at least once a month, and it was fun trying to figure out who else we could invite....but the friendships started back up and then fizzled, due to many different circumstances, and I'm ready to try it again, but with the intention of it not just being anyone! who comes to join us, but to be the same people over and over again, working hard on the many necessary contact hours to concrete a friendship, and hopefully to cultivate family friendships -- not just friends for me, but also for my husband, and for my children, too.
Happy 2018!
Here we are, finally with the last few boxes unpacked from the move in November 2015, with the family collage pictures finally hung up the staircase, with three children instead of only two....
My, how life has changed! And also, my how life has stayed the same!
I find myself looking forward to getting back into routines in 2018. The beginning of this school year has seen lots of transitions in my family: new baby in October, public school (pre-K) for peanut, half day preschool for miss middle, retirement for my dad (coming up in...7 more days?), a new baby for my sister, a visit from the Chilean grandparents ending tomorrow....Some of these, handled gracefully, and some of them, not so much.
Peanut has been struggling with following directions and being kind and respectful at school. I worry that I have pushed her too fast, my extremely social child, who loves to be with her peers and is agitated when we stay at the house all day, to spend her days at school, one of the youngest of her class. But being out of the house during the week is all she has ever known, my firstborn, who started day care and never stopped, since I was working....but perhaps last years teachers were right, and she would benefit from being the oldest in her class instead of the youngest? As we look for solutions to the behavior problems she is presenting in the pre-K classroom, I'm tempted to find her a spot at miss middle's half day program, pull her home with me, spend more time with just her....but I also know that creating another set of upheaval and transition is not the answer! And it would mess up everyone else, too -- it would take away miss middle's bit of time with just me and baby, it wouldn't actually create any new time for Peanut to be with just me. And one of the big draws of the new school this year is that half of the school day is taught in Spanish, which helps Peanut improve her ability to speak with her grandparents.
Miss middle is just that -- trying to find her place in the family, in the middle of being a baby and big girl. She's almost potty trained, but wants her nuggles. It helps her to have time with just me before school, especially if baby brother is napping. She is testing all the limits, making sure that we are paying attention to her. She is thriving.
And baby boy...what a sweet baby boy. He coos, he smiles, he sleeps, he grows. The third baby grows so much faster than the first. Almost three months old already, and probably weighs the same as the first at her 1 year birthday. Peanut and miss middle love that baby boy fiercely, but also want to make sure that they are still loved, too. I constantly ask myself how long it will take for them to realize that my love for each of them has only grown, even though my time to spend with each individually has diminished? They may be grownups before they understand, with families of their own, but until then I will continue to do my best. And when I don't, to apologize and try to be better in the future.
This transition to a family of three also came with the hard decision to stay home from work, for the year, or maybe for indefinitely. The idea of trying to get three small people to their three different schools/daycares and me to my school while also not sleeping through the night and trying to make time to pump and also trying to pay for all three of their schools was....not appealing. And a losing proposition -- I would have had to pay to go to work. Though I am now losing years of experience in the classroom, preventing salary increases, etc., the out of pocket costs of me working this year, both financial and mental were too expensive. So I started the school year with a few hours of time to myself in the house each day, and now spend those hours focused on the baby (instead of all three lovely children).
The grandparents (and tio Wardo) have been here for two weeks, for the holidays, getting to know the girls again and to snuggle the baby. It has simultaneously been lovely to have extra hands and stressful to constantly have the house full. I am enough of an introvert and set enough in my rhythms that though I will miss them, I am ready to have my space back for me, and my time. I'm also ready for my husband to stop burning the candle at both ends...up with the children early, up with the family until late...
And so, I begin this year with some intentions. My monthly goal this year is to invite someone to do something together: a fallen-out-of touch with friend to supper once a quarter, and to cultivate friendships with two other lovely ladies who have children close to the ages of mine by inviting them to do something together at least once a quarter. Stay-at-home life has some wonderful rhythms and freedoms, but also has some lonely and too-quiet moments. I'd like to be intentional about cultivating friendships and opening my home to friends more often. I've found in the past that setting a monthly goal that is concrete and measurable can help me stick to the intention of what I want to accomplish; I wanted to be more physically fit, so I committed to run a paid race (mostly 5ks) each month, to keep me training all year long; I wanted to spend more time relaxing, so I committed to a trip to the beach once a month. The year we moved into this house, we committed to invite someone (anyone!) to dinner at least once a month, and it was fun trying to figure out who else we could invite....but the friendships started back up and then fizzled, due to many different circumstances, and I'm ready to try it again, but with the intention of it not just being anyone! who comes to join us, but to be the same people over and over again, working hard on the many necessary contact hours to concrete a friendship, and hopefully to cultivate family friendships -- not just friends for me, but also for my husband, and for my children, too.
Happy 2018!
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