my pink life, mi vida rosada

Grumpy. Whoops, shouldn't let the rain determine my mood. It was rainy yesterday, too, and probably will be tomorrow. School is hard right now. One kid's mama decided to get herself hitched about two weeks ago. The kid had a hard time with that, and is currently having a hard time with the honeymoon. And his hard time means a hard time for me, too, as he acts out aggressively and hyper-actively and ridiculously all day long. It's getting close to testing, too, and the other third grade teachers are gearing their teaching towards the skills that will be on the tests, rather than trying to finish out the math series we've been using. I don't have anyone to compare notes with, anymore, about how the math series is going. I'm feeling a little isolated in this regard. And science -- well, we've been off on science all year, all doing something different. I'm hoping my wild bunch have learned and retained anything at all. I think the most likely thing...

snuggled up in my pjs, with a cup of hot chocolate by my side, and a bag of orange toast. Yum. watching the 5:00 news. It's early for me to be home, especially in my pjs. hoping my mama doesn't call to go to yoga tonight, but hoping she will call and tell me she saved me some soup today. glad the school day is over. feeling unprepared for all that life has to offer, which is uncharacteristic of me. feeling prepared and unprepared for school tomorrow, even though I couldn't think of anything else to put on the to-do list after school today. wishing the kitty cat would come snuggle. thinking that I might burst into tears at any moment for no reason at all. just feeling blue today, but know that tomorrow will be better. hoping for resolution of a few things that seem to be swirling around in my life. feeling settled and content, for the most part, with where I am in life, and where I think I am going.

Tomorrow marks five years. Five years of laughter, of head scratching, of tears, of goodnight kisses, of figuring out who does what parts of the housework, of paying bills, of school, and more school, and then more school, of sitting together at church, of passing the thankfuls, of singing silly songs and of holding each other close. Five years. So short, so long, so mundane and unforgettable, all at once. I love you, sweet hubby!

(Or, a really long, complicated, and probably entirely boring story that I must tell in order to feel better about myself and the decisions I'm supposed to be making) Will I listen to my instincts, or will I trust that even when I go against them, God will catch me if I fall? This is the conflict that I have been thinking of all day.... So a close friend of mine has been inpatient for a week for some mental health issues, which were bubbling up for a while, and escalating, and becoming more and more serious, and concerning more and more of our mutual friends, and generally making more and more people really worry. Like, serious worries. Facebook entries about wanting to hurt others and herself. Really discouraging emails and text messages. The repeated comment that she just didn't understand why anyone would care about her. And some really disturbing stories from her past, about the abuses she suffered and was really never treated for, that were haunting her and making themsel...

Right now I am waiting for a bunch of things. I'm impatient. I'm trying not to be too impatient about most of them, and just enjoy the ride. A list: 1. For sweet hubby to wake up. He looks so peaceful when he sleeps, but he sure knows how to snore! 2. For the school year to be over. I like working, but I have a tough group this year, and want to move on. 3. For summer. I love summer. I love walking around in a bathing suit and sleeping late and playing in the water and summer dresses and sandals and going to the ice cream shop... 4. For a friend to figure it out. One dear friend of mine made some serious mistakes lately that will affect our friendship. I think she has already realized this, since I haven't called or visited her in the hospital where she is seeking psychiatric treatment. I am waiting to feel like a better person for not calling and not visiting, too, but somehow that doesn't seem like a good thing to have on my list. 5. For donors, for my classroom...

These are the signs that will be hanging in my newly organized closet.... They will be at the beginning of each type of clothing. Once something has been worn, it will get hung back into the closet in front of the sign. When it is fall, and time to clean out the closet again, anything that is still behind the sign will be added to the "donate" bag. If I don't wear it, there is no need for it to be in my closet! I think this will go one of two ways. Either I will find a way, on purpose, to wear everything at least once, just so I don't have to get rid of it, or sweet hubby will get confused when he is doing the laundry and accidentally not help me implement this new system. He was duly impressed with the sight of the six bags of clothes for donation, and with the (slight) increase in available space in the closet. I think his side is next....

There is too much stuff in my closet. Too, too much. And under my bed. And above the washing machine. And scattered about the house in other random places, too. And I don't just mean random things that need to be stored.... I mean too many clothes. The excess is ridiculous. Yet today was hard for me. And looking at the results is hard for me, too. I woke up thinking about what I might do today, with several different project ideas in mind. I could set out early for a long run, or work on the vines in the backyard some more (trying to get rid of some more of them before they go bonkers growing this spring), or I could tackle the closet. It was chilly this morning. I opted for the indoor project. I decided that in order to do my closet the right way, I would need to start with everything out and decide piece by piece whether it was worthy of being put back in. I pulled armload after armload of clothes onto the bed. I wrestled the two plastic bins of clothes that I store abo...

I feel the most loved when I am wrapped up in sweet hubby's arms, him scratching my head, me with my face barely poking out of the sheets and my arms wrapped just as tightly around him as he is wrapped around me. It sounds dirty, maybe, but this is just what I would love to have every single night as I fall asleep. Strong arms of the man I love, trusted to hold me safely as I sleep, offering me the greatest comfort I can imagine. I love that man. I feel the most loved when he mocks up our conversations before they actually take place, accurately predicting what I will say and how he will respond, and then laughing with me when we don't need to have the conversation because it's already done. I feel the most loved when he cooks me dinner, and makes sure to serve something different than we had the night before and the night before that, too, since he knows I have a hard time with leftovers for lunch and for supper, too. I feel the most loved when he will turn off the T...

Lots of people at my school are posting projects on Donors Choose . I'm thinking about posting a project of my own. I teach 3rd grade. In Spanish. To native English speakers. I teach science. I like teaching science. Teaching science is fun. We get to do fun experiments, like putting sweet tarts in water and seeing how it dissolves faster, if you shake it or if you don't, and comparing it to the weathering that rocks get when they bounce along in a stream. We also get to put tuning forks into water to see the vibrations, and make pieces of paper hum, and tickle our cheeks. We get to plant things and watch them grow, and talk about how they make seeds and such fun business. Except we don't have anywhere to put the seeds, other than baggies or plastic cups. There are a couple of raised beds at the front of the school, that a different teacher somehow got dibs on at the beginning of the year, and doesn't want to share. So here's my question. If you were int...

The best thing that ever happens to me is that someone super nice, patient, loving, and kind sees me, and waits a few seconds longer at the stop sign so that I don't have to stop, but can keep running (ok, jogging at the brink of tripping on myself) as I cross the street in front of them, doing my best to manage a wave when really I think that my arms and legs are about to fall off as I cross in front of them. To the nice lady who waved enthusiastically at me today, as I crossed in front of you, I would like to say Thank you. You truly made my day a little bit brighter. I ran the rest of the way home thinking about how wonderful it was of you to help me out that little bit, those few extra seconds, and made it so that I wouldn't stop too soon, as I am wont to do when I slow down for even just a few seconds. Thank you for making my Monday a little bit lovelier. I'm having a hard time making the pretty picture work, but I'm sharing today at Blessed Little Nest.

Waiting for the alarm guy to come. The alarm system at the beach decided to go off five times on Thursday evening, getting my dad out of an important meeting five times, to talk to the alarm people and the police, who went by the house three times to see if there was any particular reason for the alarm to be going off so frequently. They didn't see anything unusual, and the house looked completely normal and unused, so I decided not to worry too much about it and bring my friends down with me for the weekend as previously planned. I talked to the alarm guy briefly yesterday, and he said he is going out of town today, so could only come by super early. Like, between 8 and 8:30 on Saturday morning, of girls' weekend. Thankful for woo woos. Never had one? I love them. Orange vodka, peach schnapps, cranberry juice. Drink as many as you like and don't feel sick in the morning. My friends agree. They are practically the only thing I drink anymore -- all the fun but none...